Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
If you’ve ever been in a long-distance relationship, there’s a good chance you’ve heard that one before.
Is it true? If you ask me, the jury’s still out.
But as a person who has had a long distance best friend for the better part of 10 years, I can vouch for this one:
Distance certainly makes the wallet lighter.
Photo: James West Photography
Almost every summer, I make pack a bag and hop on a plane to spend a week or so with my best friend.
My best friend and I have never lived in the same province and while we talk every day (usually in text), that face time is important. These trips are essential for me.
Here’s an idea of how much my 2018 trip cost — plus some tips for how to afford having a long distance best friend.
Budget Breakdown: 2018 fixed costs
This is a rough idea of how much I spent on my 2018 trip.
For context: I live in New Brunswick and my best friend lives in Ontario. My best friend works in education, so I always visit in the summer.
- Flights: $345.94
- Checked bag: $50 ($25 one way)
- Transit (from airport): $18.50 ($9.25 one way)
I used to take cabs and private shuttles from the airport. Faster, yes, but way more expensive at about $80 one way. Now that I feel more comfortable with the local transit system, I use that to get to her place from the airport. - Transit (in city): $75
I have a transit card which I load it at home before I leave and use it whenever we take the bus. The money doesn’t expire, so I don’t worry about over-loading it.
One thing you’ll notice is missing here is accommodations. When I visit my best friend, I stay at her place. Years ago, she bought an air mattress and when I visit, that’s where I sleep. Having this as an option makes a huge difference in the cost associated with these visits — plus it gives us more face time, which is a big plus.
Budget Breakdown: 2018 estimated costs
Some elements of my trip were priced and paid for when I wrote this post. Others were a little more up in the air.
Below is an idea of what I expected to spend, based on previous experience.
- Food: ~$125.00
A very conservative estimate. We do some cooking at home, but we also eat out a lot when I visit. We also enjoy some sweet treats and a ton of coffee. Considering we only get to do this one week of the year, I don’t feel bad. - Fun: $250+
This one is hard to estimate because it depends on what we end up doing while I visit. This year, we plan to see a couple plays and there has been talk of going to Canada’s Wonderland. We also typically will go see a movie and I do anticipate spending a little bit of money shopping. So, much like food, the fun line is a very conservative estimate.
ESTIMATED GRAND TOTAL: ~$864.44
Three ways to save money when you have a long distance best friend
With 10+ years of long distance best friend experience under my belt, I like to think I have learned a thing or two about making it work financially.
Here are three things that have helped me save money over the years.
Plan ahead
The sooner you know when you’ll be seeing each other, the more options you’ll have in terms of making it affordable. In our case, we start talking about our summer plans in the late winter/early spring. Talking about the what and the when early gives me time to create a realistic budget for our visit and to start saving.
Book strategically
There is a ton of (often conflicting) advice out there about when you should book your flight. I haven’t found a hard and fast rule to getting dirt cheap flights (yet). That said, I do have one booking tip to pass along, shared with me by a friend in the industry: always search for flights in private or incognito browsing windows.
The logic of this is that some airlines use cookies to track your search history — and jack up the prices accordingly.
Is it true? Depends on who you ask. What I do know is I’d rather take a chance on it not being true than the alternative.
Invest in alternatives
For as long as I have had a smartphone, I have had unlimited texting and some long-distance calling. We’re not big talk-on-the-phone people, but we text every single day. It’s important to invest in other means of communication when you can’t get regular face time.
Final thoughts
Having a long distance best friend is both a curse and a blessing.
It sucks not being able to do things like go out on a coffee date on a random Tuesday night, but it does make me appreciate the time we do get to spend together more.
It is also what makes the expenses associated with my annual visit worth it. When I visit in the summer, we fill that week with a mixture of adventure and just…hanging out, doing regular best friend stuff.
During that week, we make up for the time we don’t get to spend together during the rest of the year.
At the end of the day, all these costs are worth it to me. I see my relationship with my best friend for what it is: priceless. She is my person. I am so grateful that geography did not prevent our paths from crossing all those years ago.
Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship (best friend, or otherwise)? What advice would you give for making it work financially?
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